It’s the most wonderful time of the year … Girl Scout cookies season!
Just about every holiday and season is associated with one dessert or another. Valentine’s Day candy. Easter candy. Halloween candy. Alright, alright, year-round candy. Ice cream cones in the summertime. Thanksgiving pie. Christmas cookies. Birthday cake. But what’s the greatest of them all? Girl Scout cookies season!
We consider ourselves to be Girl Scout cookie connoisseurs. After all, one of us was in Girl Scouts from Daisies through Cadettes, one particular year being named the top seller in the troop for doling out 300+ boxes of cookies. #humblebrag
Nowadays, we’re being tempted right and left by sales pitches from Girl Scouts and parents alike for a hit of these insanely addictive cookies, yet it doesn’t faze us one bit. Girl Scout cookie order form posted in the office break room? Sign us up. Being badgered by Girl Scouts while waiting in line at the parish fish fry or walking into Dierbergs? Take all our money!
Because Girl Scout cookie season only rolls around once a year, it’s crucial to stock up. We buy Girl Scout cookies on Girl Scout cookies on Girl Scout cookies so that at any given time throughout the year, you’re likely to find a box or two stowed away in the freezer for a special occasion. Or, you know, a random Tuesday.
Before we dive into each of the Girl Scout cookie flavors, let’s get one thing straight: Little Brownie Bakers > ABC Bakers. We’ve sampled Girl Scout cookies from both to find that Little Brownie Bakers makes a far superior cookie to ABC Bakers.
Samoas will never be Caramel DeLites, nor will Trefoils be Shortbread, and Do-si-dos most definitely will never ever be Peanut Butter Sandwiches! There’s equity in these names, so let’s not diminish the esteem of Girl Scout cookies with some generic name that could be interchangeably printed on a Keebler package.
Now that that’s settled, we give you our definitive ranking of Girl Scout cookies in order from worst to best.
Rich, buttery cookies with sweet, crunchy toffee bits
Crunchy may be an understatement. We confess we haven’t tasted Toffee-tastic ourselves, but our closest sources tell us the toffee is tough as nails and nearly rips your teeth out upon first bite. Ouch.
Don’t believe us? Take it from Charlotte McCourt, an 11-year-old Girl Scout who’s wise beyond her years and known for her brutally honest Girl Scout cookies review, in which she emphatically states, “The Toffee-tastic is a bleak, flavorless gluten-free wasteland. I’m telling you it’s as flavorless as dirt.” There you have it, folks.
7. Savannah Smiles
Crisp, zesty lemon wedge cookies dusted with powdered sugar
Savannah Smiles are a departure from the other overly sweet Girl Scout cookies. Tart lemon is contrasted with sweet powdered sugar, offering a perfectly balanced cookie. We’re not the biggest fans of lemon desserts, hence the only reason for Savannah Smiles’ low ranking.
Delicate-tasting shortbread that is delightfully simple and satisfying
Trefoils get a bad rap for being boring, but come on, they’re one of the quintessential Girl Scout cookies! The rich, buttery shortbread effortlessly melts in your mouth and washes down nicely with a tall glass of milk. Trefoils are minimalism at its finest.
5. Thin Mints
Crisp wafers covered in chocolaty, minty coating
Warning: unpopular opinion here. Thin Mints are not our favorite. Call us weird, call us un-American, or call us whatever you want, but we think there are better Girl Scout cookies for sale. We love the classic combination of chocolate and mint, but these usually are the last box to be finished before the next Girl Scout cookie season begins. Compared to other Girl Scout cookies, Thin Mints are somewhat lacking in flavor and texturally boring.
4. Girl Scout S’mores
Crunchy graham sandwich cookies with creamy chocolate and marshmallow-y filling
Where have Girl Scout S’mores been all our lives? Everything we know and love about this classic campfire treat — rich milk chocolate, creamy marshmallow and sandy graham crackers — has been baked into cookie form, each component retaining its distinct flavor. Girl Scout S’mores taste so much like the real deal that we were *this close* to roasting them over an open flame to achieve those gorgeously charred marshmallow edges. Then again, we didn’t want to set off the apartment fire alarm, so we’ll save that for our next bonfire.
Crispy cookies layered with peanut butter and covered with a chocolaty coating
We dare you to name a better combination than peanut butter and chocolate. Tagalongs are reminiscent of a Reese’s peanut butter cup, but in their own special way. The only thing better than the flavor combo might be the juxtaposition in textures. After sinking your teeth into the velvety chocolate outer layer and luscious creamy peanut butter filling, you hit the crunchy, airy shortbread cookie, creating a mouthfeel unrivaled by other Girl Scout cookies. Pro tip: Like Thin Mints, Tagalongs are even better frozen.
Crisp cookies, coated in caramel, sprinkled with toasted coconut, and striped with a dark chocolaty coating
Girl Scout cookies don’t get as decadently rich or arguably iconic as Samoas. Both flavor and texture are flawlessly executed in one cookie. Boasting an equal ratio of buttery shortbread, rich chocolate, gooey caramel, and nutty coconut, Samoas are sweet, chewy perfection.
Crunchy oatmeal sandwich cookies with creamy peanut butter filling
Here goes another potentially unpopular opinion. Do-si-dos are completely underrated. With their thick, creamy peanut butter filling sandwiched between light, crispy oatmeal cookies, Do-si-dos are simply satisfying without being too over the top. If your consumption style is similar to ours and involves dunking cookies into a glass of ice-cold milk, Do-si-dos are the epitome of a “dunkable” cookie. In other words, we may or may not be known for polishing off an entire sleeve in one sitting. Always in command of our attention and affection, Do-si-dos are forever our ride-or-die Girl Scout cookies.
Source: Little Brownie Bakers